Spring Break
Despite what the commercial featuring the nerdy kids (which eerily remind me of my friends and I) where they can control Danica Patrick and make her take 5 showers in one day suggested, GoDaddy.com features lots of text and no naked pictures of anyone.
It’s just a domain registration Web site.
You know a company offers a bad service if they don’t even tell you what they do in their commercials. Thumbs down for GoDaddy.
Also known as the Fast and the Furious 4, this movie will undoubtedly kill the brain matter of anyone who goes to see it.
The basic formula for a “Fast” movie goes like this: 1) Bad actors come up with a terribly-written reason to race. 2) They race in fancy cars that they can afford despite their apparent lack of gainful employment. 3) People in theater who also lack gainful employment talk about how sweet it would be to own a $100,000 car like the one in the movie. 4) I try to smother myself in my popcorn bag.
I wonder if any critic will like that movie? I doubt it.
Predicted Rotten Tomatoes Score: 3%
The people who make the advertising for the T.V. series “Chuck” must not have taken basic geometry. When trying to announce that “Chuck” will be in 3D tomorrow, the nerd guy from the show turns himself and the girl he is with into shapes that look like pieces of paper.
Then the girl says, “I said 3D not 1D.”
Unfortunately, things cannot exist in the real world without three dimensions. That’s what Mrs. Goss taught me in 9th grade. Then she yelled at me and told me to stop turning the posters in her classroom upside down. Then I got nervous and farted and everyone laughed at me.
Good times.
Jason Statham, star of “The Transporter” series of movies was featured in an advertisement for the Audi A6 where he stole a bunch of people’s cars and then drove away from pursuing bad guys.
Does Statham do anything else in his movies besides stealing cars and being angry/misunderstood/British? I don’t think so. Glad to see his one-dimensional acting is spilling over into commercials.
Also, my first favorite ad of the night was the one where some guy totally did a smash and grab on a Doritos vending machine at his place of work. He didn’t seem to get in any trouble for it.
I guess it was okay since he had a smile on his face. I’m going to try committing more crimes with a smile and seeing if I can get away with it.
I remember watching Kurt Warner win Super Bowl 34 (I’m not going to butcher Roman numerals) and seeing his wife come visit him on the field as the team celebrated. She looked straight out of 1985, complete with some shoulder pad ensemble that looked like the kind my mom wore before I was born and a Flock of Seagulls haircut.
Now, Kurt Warner’s wife has experienced a Renaissance. She looks great. She dyed her hair blond and is wearing modern clothing. Welcome to 2009, Mrs. Warner.
Here’s a before and after:
http://www.rivalfish.com/rivalroom/uploaded_images/Kurt-Warner-717837.bmp
http://www.thesportshernia.com/football/images/brendawarner.jpg
P.S. Apparently they are making a live action G.I. Joe movie due out this August. My medulla oblongata just exploded with excitement.
I wonder who’s going to play Cobra Commander? I hope it’s Jaime Lee Curtis!
Millen just said that “barring turnovers” he picks the Arizona Cardinals to win the game. Oh why thank you for the prediction Nostradamus!
I like the Steelers if and only if they score more points than the Cardinals! I think that Coke is better than Pepsi provided I get to drink Coke in a hot tub full of supermodels! I think that the sun will rise tomorrow unless it doesn’t!
Matt Millen…bad at multiple things.
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